I Mustache You

5 Awesome Not-A-Father’s Day Gifts for 2016

May 27, 2016
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Colton here, with another riveting, enthralling and intriguing episode of “I Mustache You”.

Father’s day is coming up, so I’d first like to say to the fathers out there that I have an immense amount of respect for you. Even just the thought of doing what you guys have to do every day is exhausting by itself, and I seriously don’t know how you balance it all. Bravo and Happy early Father’s Day!

Now for the rest of us out there that have a little bit of sense (kidding) and some freedom with our time and money left (not kidding), I think that television’s all time best character Barney Stinson would agree with me in saying…

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And another one of television’s greatest characters, Tom Haverford, would join me in saying…

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Since June is my birthday month, and I’m also not-a-father, I decided to make a not-a-father’s day gift list for anyone looking to buy a gift for the man in their life, for any reason…Even Father’s Day (although, you won’t find Crocs on this list, and Dad’s love Crocs. I can’t help you there).

Laybag – $79

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Does anyone else see 1,000 Facebook ads for these things every day? And does anyone else ALWAYS click on the ad? And do you always add like 4 of them to your cart before you come to your senses? No? Just me?

These things look awesome. It’s basically a gigantic dry-bag (like what you’d use for kayaking or rafting), but instead of keeping water out, it keeps air in. They’re crazy portable, it takes no time to fill with air, and I’m pretty sure it could win a competition for most comfortable thing on the planet.

Pebble Core – $50

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Unlike my beautiful healthy active wife, I am not the biggest fan of fitness. I know, I know… I should be better about running, and biking, and lifting metal over and over, and all of that, but it’s just not something I enjoy.

One of the reasons I don’t enjoy it is because I normally have to drag my gigantic iPhone 6+ around, and it’s annoying (I should have gone with the 6 instead). The Pebble Core eliminates that issue.

The Core is a tiny iPod Shuffle-like device with its own 3g connection, so you can take it with you when you run and leave your phone at home. You can stream Spotify and other services, connect wirelessly to your headphones through Bluetooth, and it even has GPS so you can still track your distance, speed, etc through popular fitness apps.

The only bad thing is that, with the addition of devices like this to the marketplace, I’m slowly running out of excuses not to work out. Lucky for me, no one has come out with a fitness device that makes working out more fun than watching Netflix. When that day comes, I’m screwed.

Nest Thermostat – $250

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I want the Nest thermostat for the same reason I don’t want a kid…To save money.

These are old news, so I won’t go into too much detail. Basically, it’s intelligent system controls the times that the AC is running, so that you’re not cooling an empty house for no reason. Aside from that, it also connects through WIFI, so you can set the temperature from anywhere, and it tells you how much electricity you saved each month. Not to mention, it looks awesome.

Pilot Translating Earphones – $179

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Jess and I love to travel… this is also old news. When traveling out of the country, one of the biggest headaches can be the language barrier. Aftó den eínai pléon éna próvlima! (That’s Greek for “That is no longer a problem!”)

Pair these wireless headphones with the your phone, and when someone is speaking to you in a different language Pilot recognizes the language, and translates it into English in your ear (or whatever language you choose). Give the other earphone to the person you’re talking to, and it will translate your your speech back to them in their language! I seriously feel like we’re living in Minority Report or some other crazy sci-fi movie.

Boomstick Headphone Enhancer – $99

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Digital music quality kinda sucks. Cheap Apple headphones or Skull Candy earbuds make digital music quality suck more! For someone like myself with an intense passion for music… That sucks!

The Boomstick makes it NOT suck! Plug your cheapo headphones into this thing, and it’s like listening to vinyl without all of the cracks and pops. It makes the music fuller, and brings elements of the music that the artist and producers want you to hear into your ears.

 

So if you’re looking to get creative with your gift giving this year, pull something from this list and I guarantee that the not-a-father (or even the father) in your life will be surprised!

You’re welcome!

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