Disclaimer: I am not a style blogger. I much prefer when someone tells me what looks cute together and gives me the tools to make it happen. To be honest, I feel most comfortable in yoga pants and a tank top. This will not be a style post despite what the title may tell you. However, I do have a pair of accessories that I believe look great with every outfit: confidence and a smile. I know this may be cheesy, but hear me out.
What makes a woman beautiful? There are many quotes that tell us some version of
“beauty is in the eye of the beholder”
Physical beauty, as we think about it, is based on preference depending on if you are a man or woman, your race, culture, background, geographical location, and more. There is not one person on earth that every single human being would agree is the ideal beautiful person.
Why then, as women, do we constantly talk negative about ourselves for not being the “picture-perfect” version of beautiful that we imagine if it may not be beautiful to someone else? It’s because we put all of our time and attention on the outside.
Confidence is inner beauty and it is about building up other women, not competing with them. I will never be as flexible as the girl next to me in yoga class, or as smart as my friend that is a doctor, or as talented as Taylor Swift. Instead of feeling sorry for myself that I am not getting off a World Tour, I change my thinking to be proud of others hard work. Rather than tearing others down with words (to their face or behind their back), I choose to speak kind and encouraging words about others. When I do, I feel better about myself. One of my friends once told me that her husband told her that the most unattractive quality in a woman is when she is criticizing/talking bad about another woman. It’s so true! That is the number one sign of insecurity and lack of confidence. This goes with criticizing yourself, too. Don’t do it! If you change your thoughts to positive, your words will follow.
Confidence is also trying new things and not giving up when you fail. The first time I tried HIIT at the barre studio, I ended up on the floor practically crawling out. I thought my heart was going to explode and I would never be able to keep up with the spunky instructor. It really was the most intense workout I had ever experienced. A few weeks later, I tried again. After multiple attempts, I finally think I am hanging in there and see that I am improving. If I would have given up and convinced myself that I couldn’t do it, I would have missed out on the pride I felt when I actually completed a whole circuit without pausing.
Build your confidence by
- trying new things
- speaking kindly to and about others
- stop competing with others and encourage them
Right now (or when you have a quick second)… I want you to think of 5 things about yourself that make you great! Big or small, write them down. Next time you are feeling a little blue and lacking confidence, read it. Post it somewhere to remind you (bathroom mirror, gym bag, car steering wheel) because you are incredible and there is no one else like you.
The second accessory I love to wear is a smile. In high school I was self-conscious about my smile because of my chipped tooth, thin lips, and big teeth. Now, I embrace it. No one else has my smile. Differences make us beautiful. Today (or next time you are out) smile at a stranger. I know it seems weird, but I promise you it will make them feel good and probably make you feel good too. As Buddy the Elf says
I like smiling. Smiling’s my favorite.
So put on your smile, grab your confidence, walk out that door and encourage someone.
Photo by Tyler+Lindsey Photography