In the words of the infamous, charming and always classic Austin Powers… Allow myself to introduce… Myself.
I’m married to this hot red-headed blogger chick that is WAY out of my league. I’m an internet marketer for a real estate consulting company by day, and a wedding photographer by night/weekend. I’m a simple man with simple pleasures: photography, music (playing it, listening to it, etc), vinyl records, YouTube videos of Siberian Huskies saying “I Love You”, graphic design, building things, whiskey, gummy bears and anything with Seth Rogen, Tom Hardy or Emma Stone.
Somehow, Jess got me to agree to a monthly “takeover” style post where I talk about things I like or show people how to do something. So, since I have a seemingly unhealthy love affair with my facial hair and I’ll be discussing how to do things, I’m calling it:
(I Mustache You)
For my first post:
I’d like to discuss three things that any Whiskey lover needs to have in their arsenal at all times.
We’ve all seen circular ice cube molds, whiskey stones, oddly shaped flasks and crazy whiskey glasses that every Urban Outfitters seems to have an abundance of. My goal is to show you three things you may not know about yet… Even Buzzfeed doesn’t know about these.
1. Bittermilk No.1 Bourbon Barrel Aged Old Fashioned Cocktail Mixer
I’ll start off by directly handing you my man-card and saying that most of the time, I don’t like to drink whiskey by itself. To those of you who do, I applaud and envy you greatly. There are very few affordable bourbons, scotches or Irish Whiskeys that I can just pour a glass of and sip on without making some really painful faces.
I do, however, love a good old fashioned… And they can be a pain to make. With all of the muddling of the sugar and dashing of bitters (I don’t remember learning about a “dash” as a scientific measurement in school, by the way), I always seem to muddle to little or dash too much and I can never get it to taste quite like they can at the bar.
The folks over at Bittermilk know what they’re doing. They’ve taken everything that normally goes into an Old Fashioned, and bottled it up and done all of the hard work for us (aging, bittering, etc). The best part… It tastes just as good, if not better than something I would pay $15 for at some trendy bar off of Lower Greenville.
Ingredients: Burnt Organic Cane Sugar, Demerara Sugar Water, Orange Oleo Saccharum (Organic Orange Peel, Organic Cane Sugar), Spices, Organic Gentian Root, Cinchona Bark, Tartaric Acid
Mix 1 part Bittermilk No. 1 to 4 parts Bourbon or Rye.
Pour over ice & enjoy.
2. Whiskey Aging Oak Sticks by Time & Oak.
Jessica and I were walking around an art fair in Portland, OR this summer when I saw people at a booth across the way handing out free whiskey. Naturally, I had to further examine this phenomenon because, well… Whiskey.
They handed me 2 different samples, and asked which I thought was smoother to take down. I took the first shot of Jack Daniels, which any whiskey drinker will tell you is a tough one to take down without a mixer or chaser, and then the second, which was MUCH easier to take down with a WAY smoother finish.
I found out that the second sample of Jack Daniels had just spent the previous night with a Time & Oak Whiskey Elements stick in the bottle.
Basically, you drop one of these sticks in a bottle of Bourbon, Rye, Scotch or Irish whiskey, and it ages the whiskey. The longer the stick stays in the bottle, the longer the whiskey is aged.
See… The main reason aged whiskey is so much tastier and smoother than well whiskey is that it has had time to filter through the cedar and absorb all of the flavor and color.
Time & Oak has cut down on this process with what they call “accelerated transpiration through capillary action”, which is basically just a fancy way of saying “they cut the wood in a bunch of places so that the whiskey can absorb the flavor quicker”.
3. A Portable Breathalyzer
Yep. I’m gonna be that guy that tells you not to be that guy.
Seriously, these things are like $30 now and they’ll fit in your glovebox. There’s no reason to chance driving drunk.
Here’s a pointer though, from someone who used to work in a jail running REAL breathalyzer tests all of the time. The real breathalyzers they use in jails don’t even always pull a 100% accurate reading of your blood alcohol level, and they cost $5k + and almost that much per year just to maintain. That means these portable things are way less accurate. If you get a .04 reading or higher, it’s safe to assume you could actually be .08.
Don’t chance it.
To PIN for later